They should really pass out barf bags in church
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
