Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
