Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
