..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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