Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
