After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
