Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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