I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just had sex bonerless
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
