mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
