After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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