he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize