It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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