youre lurking in front of me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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