He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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