I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
