Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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