you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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