can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
