I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
