Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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