He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
