Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
