Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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