Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
