When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i think i just lost a toe
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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