Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
