did you get engaged???
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
