Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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