maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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