Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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