can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
