I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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