You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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