nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
