I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
