i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?