return my video game
You smell like stripper and shame
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom