I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
