get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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