I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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