Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Where is the hickey?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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