things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
