Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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