all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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