Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
