You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
