me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
