Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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