I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
