rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
