Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The ass gains better be worth it
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