Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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