...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
