Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize