If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
