i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize