So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
