I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
