4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
