Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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