My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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