walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
