It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
